“Why, You Don’t LOOK 49!” or Baby, This is What 49 Looks Like!
I thought I’d take a break from our story to give myself and the rest of my female cohorts a big “high-five”.
You see, today is my birthday - the big 49, and I’m proud of every line, sag, stretch mark and gray hair!
(Okay, I cover the gray hair…I can’t help it, it goes all “twangy” on me if I let it go!)
I was about ten years old when my maternal grandmother was my age and I thought she was as old as Methusela.
It must have been awful to be that old. Back then, all I wanted was to be a teenager.
They had all the fun!
How little I knew.
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I had the good fortune to know both my paternal great-grandmothers. As my Grandma lay in her nursing home, she told my mother that:
“It’s hard, because although my body is so old, in my mind I’m still seventeen.”
I may have been all of five at the time, but I’ve never forgotten that statement.
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So how does it feel to be 49?
Well, I have low-grade back pain about 80% of the time, probably from almost 30 years of being a nurse. And I don’t seem to have the stamina to work 12-hour shifts anymore.
But I still have a passion for rock-and-roll and back pain or not I’ll be screaming and dancing at the Journey and American Idol concerts at the end of August. My iPod is full and I am a huge fan of Matchbox 20, Gwen Stefani, Bo Bice and Kelly Clarkson. In my world the Bee Gees rock and they always will. I am not ashamed of crying when George Harrison and Maurice Gibb died. I’m glad Paul McCartney is available. Unfortunately I am not.
***
I take medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, acid reflux and the occasional ibuprofen and muscle relaxer for the back.
But I’ve lost 25 pounds since November 29th, and my blood pressure medication will soon be weaned off. I eat healthier now than I have ever eaten in my life.
***
I lost my father to a heart attack/pulmonary embolism when he was 62 and I was 42.
But I have a wonderful husband (married 27 years) and three great kids of whom I am very proud and two of them will be married next summer.
***
I don’t I have the energy to raise a young child anymore.
But I love kids and look forward to a ton of grandkids to spoil within an inch of their lives. It’s the perogative of a grandparent! I’ve saved all my kids’ toys for when I have grandkids! You are never too old for Candyland and Chutes and Ladders. Who knows, maybe a book I give to one of them will inspire their career as my great-grandmother did for me when she gave me “Cherry Ames, Student Nurse” exactly forty years ago today!
***
I speak my mind and I no longer care who gives a damn!
But I feel like myself for the first time in my life. My opinions matter. What I want matters. I deserve everything life can give me. I am so freakin’ worth it. I no longer need to submerge my needs and wants for those of my family. And conversely, I’ve become more compassionate as I’ve experienced life and loss and helped many people through difficult periods in their lives. Most of them were strangers; every one of them has a place carved in my heart.
***
I believe that MENOPAUSE IS NOT A DIRTY WORD!
Actually, I may want to revisit that within the next few years, but why has a normal phase of life turned into an illness that has to be treated? I’ll embrace it! Why would I not, because it means I’m old and will turned into a dried up old prune? Not this woman.
***
I no longer have any urge to get a Bachelor’s degree and the thought of sitting in a classroom makes me claustrophobic.
But I’ve become a Civil War buff, embraced any and all new technology that Apple can throw at me, read voraciously and finally found an outlet for writiing that I have wanted to do all my life. I have a house full of history books on the US and the middle east (son majored in Arabic and Political Science), religion and politics and Classics that I have yet to peruse and I’m more excited about my daughter’s Advanced Placement US History class than she is! She gets to read “Founding Brothers” - that rocks!
***
I’m a Republican. And conservative.
But I’ve learned that I learn more by listening to those who disagree with me than by trying to make my point to them. I’m interested in concepts that differ from my own. I’ve learned we all want what is best for America, we just have differing ideas on how to accomplish them. One must be flexible. I’ve lived through the JFK assassination, LBJ and Vietnam, Nixon and Vietnam and Watergate, Jimmy Carter’s malaise and Iranian hostages, Reaganomics, Clinton’s extra-marital/presidential activities, 2001 and the War on Terror. I’m sure there are more eras, some better and some worse that we will face. We will make it through. We always do.
***
I don’t dress to impress.
But I also don’t dress in old-lady or baggy clothes and while I have a great midriff (it’s the only part of me that seems to have escaped the ravages of the sun), I can’t bring myself to show it off, as it doesn’t seem appropriate at my age. I may change my mind when I’m fifty, however. My body is mine and I’m proud of every single 65.5 inch of it.
***
And so ladies, from my perspective,that is how it feels to be 49.
And while there are decades of maturity behind me, I still look at the world as though I am seventeen.
Like Great-grandmother, like great-grandaughter.
geena
July 14, 2024 at 3:45 pm
Great post! Happy birthday!
Janet
July 14, 2024 at 5:45 pm
Happy Birthday, Kim!
May you have many more surrounded by hordes of grandchildren.
Karen
July 15, 2024 at 11:14 am
Happy birthday!!
What a wonderful post - thank you for sharing.
Jo
July 15, 2024 at 1:15 pm
You go!
And again….Happy Birthday!
chele
July 15, 2024 at 2:01 pm
Happy Birthday! going out on a limb here to sound corny, but you are an inspiration! What a strong beautiful woman you are. You go Kim!
Peggy
July 16, 2024 at 1:49 pm
Way to go Kim…you are an inspiration. I am 43 and lovin’ it too. My whole life has turned around for the better since I turned 40 and I can only hope it gets even better.
Happy Birthday…I love both of your blogs
Mama Mia
July 16, 2024 at 3:08 pm
Best birthday wishes, Kim. Thank you for all you are and all you do. Your family, your patients and your readers all benefit from your 49 years of experience. Thank you for sharing it with us.
dgm
July 16, 2024 at 8:41 pm
i love this post. my surfing bud is 48 (i’m 42), with kids in their 20s and 5-year-old twins, and she totally rocks. it’s all in her attitude. and yours. i’ve seen many women surrender to the notion that life ends in the mid-30s. it’s sad, and a horrible perspective to pass on to our kids. happy birthday!
Mel
July 17, 2024 at 7:36 am
A belated happy birthday, Kim. I love that you love your life. I love mine too.
dr peg
July 17, 2024 at 8:46 am
Kim - wonderful post. I’m 48, and co-authoring a book about midlife, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s ,and this is just the kind of thing we’re hearing from other women our age. Very well put!
Peg
dr peg
July 17, 2024 at 8:48 am
Oops. I tried to put a link to the book in my comment, but I guess I’m html-impaired today. If anyone would like to read about the book, and/or contribute a story or comment, please go to:
http://50waystoleaveyour40s.com
Thanks!
Sheila Key
July 17, 2024 at 9:18 am
Kim! Thank you for sharing this! And I do really mean SHARING this, as you have so kindly given me and my co-author, Peg Spencer MD, permission to use your 49th birthday post (or portions thereof) in our book, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, to be published next fall by New World Library. I hope others will share their midlife stories, too. Click on over to www.50waystoleaveyour40s.blogspot.com. OH, I see dr. peg has beaten me to it this a.m. And that *she* wasn’t able to make this an html link either. Oh well, you all know how to copy and paste. So please do! Thanks! And thanks again, Kim!
difficult patient
July 17, 2024 at 1:03 pm
Happy Birthday!!! We are almost birthday buddies-I turned 40 on the 13th! (40! OMG! I haven’t quite adjusted! 40?! Yep, 40!)
I love your attitude on life-you are a great example!
Carley Sue
July 18, 2024 at 3:17 pm
Although you are several years my junior (I’ll soon be 57), we have a lot in common! I’m also a nurse, 68.5 inches tall, but getting shorter over time. I sing “All you need is love” by the Beatles along with my grandchildren and dance with them at the free Tuesday night outdoor concerts at a nearby park! I’ve been through menopause and it wasn’t so bad! I feel great, don’t dress to impress, but have a great sense of style! I continue to work full time in the pharmaceutical industry and travel by air very frequently and love it although it is more of a hassel now than it used to be. I just bought my first new home! And thoroughly enjoy the decorating of a clean slate! Thanks for sharing with me! Happy birthday!! Mine is August 24!
Teresa
July 18, 2024 at 6:18 pm
Happy Birthday Kim. You are my blog hero!
Lynn
July 20, 2024 at 3:50 am
Happy Birthday, Kim! What a great article. I just found this website this morning. I’m 53 and have been going through the “how do I dress now?” problem. I hate those baggy clothes that make me look like an old lady but, unfortunately, I don’t have the shape anymore for some of the other outfits. Well, I’ll just keep looking!
punchberry
July 20, 2024 at 6:08 am
A belated happy birthday, Kim! What a lovely post!
Kathleen
August 16, 2024 at 3:17 pm
Right ON little sister! This has got to be the best birthday declaration I have read in a long time. I hope you don’t mind, but I plan on quoting your “speaking my mind” section. You know, before my Grandmother was befuddled by dementia, she said the same thing to me as yours said to you. My Dad at age 75 says he looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize the old man looking back at him, and is surprised the image doesn’t match how he feels inside. Those who teach aren’t very big on the specifics of physical change. Glad to hear you are embracing your changes with the heart of teenager.
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